Discoveries At Angel Fire

Reality and Virtual (Website)


~ The Road Trip ~

A few weeks back, I was talking with members of the local Harley Owners Group during the monthly meeting. One of the members brought in the schedule for the Run for the Wall. Having heard of Rolling Thunder in the past, I grabbed up a copy and stuffed it in my jacket pocket, thinking I might ride and meet the Run. I had almost forgotten it, when I pulled it out. I saw the website for the Run for the Wall. As I do many nights, I began surfing the web. While browsing the RFTW's site, I came across the Angel Fire Memorial's website.
From the moment I logged onto the site, something unexplainable began inside, a feeling, indescribable, a longing, for what I did not know. From the introduction page it had started, yes it felt weird, a fire, a direction that must be followed. The accompanying sound, accenting, hypnotizing, mesmerizing, and yes, even feeding that feeling.
Each subsequent page brought that feeling closer to the surface, The description of the memorial, the chapel, the area, started the thought of "The Road Trip". The Road trip for me to deal with my past. Remembering the traveling "VNM Wall" that visited Ft Riley, Kansas. The Kansas Viet Nam Memorial sitting in the downtown park of Junction City. The many times, I knew I had to stop and visit, but knew I'd be openly emotional and that thought stopped me. Can you imagine a Police Officer being afraid to look at a chunk of rock?
(No disrespect meant)
The Angel Fire website, the description of the quiet, the peacefulness of the area, and my acknowledgment of that inner confused feeling, the need to face my past and to begin closure, is the driving force for me to join the Run.
I am, by no means a war hero, I did not see combat or the bush. I was brought to reality when rockets landed close enough to feel the ground shake, on two separate occasions. I received two different ribbons to wear when I left. I was proud to have them, yet ashamed at the knowledge that I only received them because I was there, not for what I had done, when many more before me, had came and gone without even the acknowledgment of their presence or their sacrifice. One of the ribbons was the Bronze Star, enough said.
As I write this, the Angel Fire website is on the screen, naturally half screen, the music is in the background, and yes my emotions are turning on and off like a faucet. The memories flashing past, good, bad, and indifferent. I have to see this place. I have to feel, in person, what I feel looking at the website on the computer's screen.

Dennis Carroll ~ 2/3/99






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